Pornography Addiction Support
I am a parent.
I love the innocence of children.
It is one of my favorite things to observe.
And it pains me to know that at some point, I have to let my children go out into the world and make their own choices.
I can imagine your pain when you find out that your son or daughter has a pornography addiction.
And I’m going to talk straight to you. It’s the only way I know how to help.
What I say may not be easy to hear. But burying your head in the sand will not make this go away. It’s only going to get worse.
The technology that is hitting the market will give everyone mobile access to pornography 24/7.
We have to face the storm head on to have any chance of success.
I know what I’m talking about here. I was exposed to pornography as a teenager. I know where your child is. I know what they are going through. And more importantly, I know what can help them.
Here are the numbers:
90% of kids ages 8-16 have been exposed to pornography while doing homework.
73% of teenage boys ages 15-17 admit to having a pornography addiction.
So if you have children, they are at risk. Even if you keep a perfect home and shelter them from the smut in the world. They are at risk.
I could go on and on with statistics and facts, but the bottom line is this:
You must know what you are dealing with.
You need to have a clear plan to address this.
And if you want results, you need to learn what works and what makes this worse.
Hey Tony, just wanted to drop you a line really quick and say that I have been getting some very awesome clarity from your program recently. I started a week late, but it’s been very good. I used the lifeline for the first time today and it was powerful. I realized that some of my emotions driving my porn addiction was fear that I’ll be left behind. I walked into my body and let God in. I was filled with abundance and it was a new experience. The other thing that has made all the difference in the world has been separating my real self from my behaviors. It has given me strength like I can’t explain. Thanks again for letting me join the program. I heard your call tonight and wanted to share with everyone some of the success. You’re stellar. Look forward to some more great experiences walking through the pain and learning about what it’s telling me.
Unfortunately, most parents do exactly what makes this worse.
They are very well meaning.
They think they are helping.
But they do the wrong things.
And the result is that their kid learns to be a better liar. The problem becomes a secret, and you son or daughter gets set up for a life long addiction.
So what can you do as a parent?
- You must educate yourself on how bad this really is. Get all the information you can. Research different people’s opinions.
- Put together a clear plan based on accurate information rather than your knee-jerk response.
- Lead by example. You have to create a home where recovery is possible. That means you have to work on your junk as well.
I have created some resources for parents to help you take the right action. You can read about them (or watch a video about them) on the products page.
One is an eBook for parents to tell you the real facts about this issue and give you the steps of your plan.
The other is a 7 CD program to actually help you with talking to your son or daughter.
Another resource that will help you get educated on this is a free 7 CD program I created for Christians called A Better Believer. You can download it at www.ABetterBeliever.com
You will learn why this issue is so hard to fix, and get an idea of the steps you must take to help your son or daughter.
This will get you started in the right direction.
I wish I could tell you that this will just go away, but it won’t. Facing this head on, and being willing to set the example for change is how you will help your child the most.
And as you learn solutions that work, open you mouth and pass it on. This affects a silent majority of the men and more recently the women in our culture. We need to reach out and help each other.
Together, I believe we can be part of the solution.
I struggled with this for 17 years. I tried all kinds of stuff to stop, but I would always give in again. The things I learned in this process, like understanding my stress levels, and what cravings mean in my body, have made it so I haven’t looked at porn in almost a year. But not only that, my emotions aren’t a wreck. I can sit still. I can enjoy a good conversation with a friend. I even talk about cravings with my wife. Now, that was something I could never do before! Thanks for making this available. It has really helped my life.
Teenagers and Porn Addiction — the long term impact
One of the biggest challenges when a teenager has a pornography addiction are the fantasies they create through this habit.
This affects both men and women, but since the majority of porn addicts are men, I will explain this from a boy’s perspective.
When at teenager watches pornography, he super imposes himself into the scenarios and imagines how it would be to experience it in real life.
At the beginning, the porn helps him to have a more intense experience.
Eventually, he become unable to climax unless he is thinking about some forbidden fantasy.
The result of this is that when he gets married, he has a long term, deeply engrained habit of thinking of a forbidden fantasy in order to climax. Instead of being with his wife during sex, he is in his mind imagining something he has seen on the computer, or something he has fantasized before.
He has trained his mind that this is the only way to have an orgasm. This creates an emotional wall, because if his wife knew he was imagining that he was having sex with someone else, she would feel rejected.
He convinces himself that if she really knew how he was, she wouldn’t love him.
This results in him withdrawing emotionally after sex. He is not fully satisfied, and he assumes it is because he wasn’t actually doing the thing he imagined.
She feels used, but she can’t explain why. So she doesn’t look forward to having sex.
He feels rejected because his wife doesn’t want to have sex, and because he blames her for his inability to find satisfaction.
The end result is that as his sexual frustration grows, he blames his wife for it. She withdraws further, and he becomes haunted by his pornography addiction. It calls to him to return. He becomes emotionally convinced that the only way to get satisfaction is to go back to the old habit.
Once he goes back, his shame is intensified. Now he has more secrets. More reasons why his wife could never love him or accept him. But his porn addiction never satisfies him. (It can’t. But he doesn’t know this.)
He becomes emotionally convinced that if he could act out what he has seen on the screen, he will finally be satisfied. And before long, he has an affair. This doesn’t fix him either, and he has more secrets. More skeletons. More demons. He continues chasing satisfaction he can never find.
He may blame his wife for his dissatisfaction, but the truth is that he poisoned the well with is fantasies. That is where it all began.
True, his wife may have not wanted to have sex as often as he did. But that is usually a consequence of his fantasy and emotional disconnect.
Most parents can’t articulate to their son that this is the end game of a porn addiction. This is where it will lead. There is no satisfaction.